Some of the most humorous things I hear in a day come from patients. This is a true story a lady in the office told me. This story could have been named several things like, "The Trials and Tribulations of Menopause" or "Man, You Have No Idea", but, we chose to call it, "I Lost My Liver" for reasons that will become apparent shortly.
The story goes something like this. Above mentioned lady, hereafter referred to as "LML" and her husband, have recently met some new friends. These new friends, in an effort to get to know them has asked them over for a drink and some face time. All is going swimmingly.
While sitting on the near new looking "light grey" ultra-suede couch, LML gets an "odd sensation". She's had "odd sensations" before but this one is out of context. Being an astute male, her husband notices that LML has gone quiet and her skin tone has lightened......a lot. He asks if she is alright. At this moment she can hear him but her vision had tunneled and gone black and there is the sound of rushing surf. That's when as she puts it, "She lost her liver". The visual was worth a thousand words. I have seen plenty of "livers" and I can't imagine "dropping" one, anywhere.
According to this lady, menopause has been hell. Her cycle ranges from 3days to 3 months, and it's "different". Before, she would get "warning signs", like a sore lower back, headaches, stuff like that "before" her cycle would start. Now, there's no warning! It's just Go Time!! How do you plan for that?
She said the couch looked like a murder scene and her white pants weren't and although "welcome to stay", she didn't really want to. Her husband had been drinking a bit too much to drive, so she had to, but hey, all the way home he did tell her, "It will be OK". Apparently, that wasn't helpful!
The next day she phoned to say that she would pay for all the cleaning. Before the call she had prayed that she would get "the women" but alas, "the man" answered. Through her embarrassment he explained that they had managed to get it all cleaned up, no problem at all, thank you very much, keep your money.
The life span for a female in North America is about 80 and for a male about 76. I will gladly forfeit 4 years of my life so I don't have to contend with, menopause, periods, childbirth etc. I will gladly do all the heavy lifting, ugly plumbing and getting up at 3 with the sick kid so I don't have to do those things because, seriously guys, we have NO idea!
The best part of this story is, the lady that it happened to tells the story with a smile on her face and laughs right along with us as she tells it. Sometimes it's better if you just laugh at what life hands you!
